If you want to narrow down the cause of a large portion of
our everyday problems you meet the term expectations. We expect life to work a
certain way. I mean we knowingly admit that life never works the way we want it
to, but our expectations still exist, hidden in the back corner of our brains.
You
know when you go on a vacation and the destination is so beautiful it’s almost
surreal? Or maybe the destination doesn’t matter, what matters is the people
you are with. Regardless of any kind of nuances when you’re on a vacation with
a group of people aka your friends there’s a bond there. There’s something
about being removed from every other regular day distraction that provides this
sense of closeness. And for some reason, though it never actually happens, we
expect that when we return home these bonds will remain. It doesn’t work like
that, but time and time again we cling to these friendships that were so
perfect as if they will remain that way.
It
works kind of like this:
You go away to a new place and even though you’re with familiar people (sometimes, sometimes not) the destination is different than what you’re used to. So all the sudden there’s this sense of change. As well there are no distractions so whoever you’re with becomes this close knit group. You begin to forget that back home nothing has changed at all, and back home a million and one distractions exist. So all the sudden you return home feeling different and you get slapped in the face with this realization that nothing is different here at all.
You go away to a new place and even though you’re with familiar people (sometimes, sometimes not) the destination is different than what you’re used to. So all the sudden there’s this sense of change. As well there are no distractions so whoever you’re with becomes this close knit group. You begin to forget that back home nothing has changed at all, and back home a million and one distractions exist. So all the sudden you return home feeling different and you get slapped in the face with this realization that nothing is different here at all.
If you
went on any recent trip, or even if you can think back to a time like grade
eight camp, this will all make a lot of sense. If not, it won’t at all.
You're absolutely correct, well said. It always sucks when this happens but I guess there's no way to stop it, the world is a confusing place. Maybe it wouldn't have to be that way if you went with the right people?
ReplyDeleteIn some senses, this relies on the idea of how dependent one is with others and relationships. Obviously, we are herd animals, and we like to be around others. But isn't it a little dramatic to say we are disappointed when our relationships are not the same as they we're on a special trip? Do you think most people expect these relationship to last in a "Honey Moon" periods?
ReplyDelete...I guess I don't. Not as a pessimist, but as some one who can look back on an event, and associate those new sparked relationships as another element to make that memory more sacred. If friendships were to last when one returns home, even if they were still great partners, they'd grow used to it, and possibly take it for granted.
Coming home should not be disappointing because of lost relationships when your away, or the fact that home is the same. Home is home because it is familiar. Maybe it can be seen that instead of being slapped in the face, you're being welcomed back to familiar arms. You know the way it feels, and it knows you also.
Expectation is not the same in all people.
I think we do expect most relationships to last in the "Honey Moon" period. I think that's the problem. We may say that we don't, but we also can't help be disappointed when the period ends.
ReplyDeleteAs well, not everybody likes familiarity, and in other cases, sometimes someone's home doesn't feel like a home at all.
Expectation is certainly not the same in all people, but we all have it in some kind of form. It still exists.